I am too dumb for smart technology. I’ve had a series of incidents involving technology in which I lost the war against the machines. In March, I had to watch a YouTube video on how to reset the clock on my car's dashboard display for Daylight Saving Time. In early April, I had to reboot ...
I'm a talkative guy. I can chat with anyone, but I'm not a fan of small talk. Nothing is duller than a sentence that starts with "It's cold out there today." Discussing the weather patterns in Southwestern Pennsylvania can be divisive. Last week, the temperature dropped more than 40 degrees in ...
As soon as I drove to the gym, directions home popped up on my iPhone. My Maps app is always trying to reroute me back to my house. My phone is a homebody. This time, I couldn’t blame the phone. It didn’t want to be at the gym, either. I’ve been trying to make a habit of working out. ...
I’ve been to the seventh circle of perdition. I went to Costco on a Saturday afternoon. All the sinners in the tri-state area were there with me. I’m convinced that the owners built the Robinson Township Costco on an ancient indigenous burial ground. The land might be cursed for a ...
While fantasizing about the Mega Millions with an old friend, I said, “I’d be the millionaire who people wouldn’t know was a millionaire, like I’d be rich, but I’d still be in the jeans I had on since Tuesday.” While I have plenty of slacks, corduroys, sweat pants, and shorts, I ...
At the tail end of Mardi Gras, my thoughts are with the revelers in New Orleans. I love a parade. “The tramping of feet, I love every beat.” I’ll be singing about it in the shower (don’t try to picture it). I have been to New Orleans twice, but never during the madcap zaniness of ...
