Q. Is it wrong to not want to go back to school in person? I have social anxiety and online classes help. I don’t miss seeing people at school because I don’t like interaction with others. I’m not rude, or even shy, but I just prefer being by myself. The anxiety comes when I’m forced to be i…
I received so many reactions to last week’s column about families and fighting that I selected a few for comment.
Q. My math teacher likes me a lot. He always calls on me. I love math and I’m good at it.
Q. My teacher doesn’t like me. No matter what I do, she doesn’t call on me. I put my hand up and get ignored. She never says anything nice about my work, even when I get a good grade on a test. I told my dad and he said I need to suck it up. I told my gram and she said she would march down t…
I think I’m the only kid who feels like I do.
Education matters to me. I know education is more than academics. Socialization, peer competition, sports, theater, concerts, clubs, interactions with teachers and mentors, just hanging out in the cafeteria. So much is different this new school year.
Q. I need help with my anger. I’ve been asking you questions since seventh grade, texted you some flat out stupid stuff and some serious questions. I always stayed anonymous and told you to keep my questions private. You did as I asked.
Q. This is a serious question. Do I tell my boys, ages 6 and 9, that Chadwick Boseman, the wonderful actor who brought King T ‘Challa to life in “Black Panther,” has died? They both adore the movie, their rooms are full of “Black Panther” posters and toys, and we had a “Black Panther” themed…
Q. You taught me in high school and I still remember how much I loved your classes. I’m a teacher now, and virtual teaching is new to me, so I really enjoyed your column last week. Can you please offer some hints for student participation online?
Q. Hey Mary Jo, I had my first virtual class day for the new year and it was … pretty much a mess. Our school is all online now. I felt bad for my teachers. They really tried, but between student zooms that glitched and people who cannot seem to figure out how to mute or sit up straight, I w…
During this challenging summer, our peer educator facilitators and I were thrilled to interact with 192 12- to- 14-year-olds in our virtual summer camps. I thought some of the unsolicited questions sent to me during the camps via private Zoom chat might bring smiles!
Q. I’m so scared of going back to school. I mean, I want to see my friends. I want to go back to class. I even miss my teachers. I’m not scared for me. I’m scared for my gram and pap.
As promised, more good news from our Virtual Summer Camps.
Time for some good news from the pandemic. This column and next week’s will showcase the wonderful young people facilitating our free virtual summer camps and offer gratitude for all who support this effort.
Q. I don’t have any friends. I’m an only child. I’m used to being by myself or with mostly adults. I read a lot. I draw. I don’t even mind solitude, but since we left school in March I don’t even have other kids to talk with casually at lunch or in classes. I don’t know how to connect with o…
Q. I go back for my second year of college in August. My school is offering an online option as well as in-person instruction. I don’t typically learn well online. I prefer face-to-face interaction with my professors. But, I’m worried about my dad. He has several health conditions, including…
I was asked to offer my opinion about mask wearing. I decided it would be more fun and educational if I asked young people their thoughts. I typically ask our peer educators to respond in my column, but I posted this topic on social media, so I haven’t interacted with all of the writers. I h…
Q. I’m still not doing well emotionally with this virus. I’ve seen a counselor and she keeps suggesting mindfulness or meditation. She tried to show me, but I just got more tense. I’m sure you don’t remember me, but I took childbirth classes in your basement for our first child. He just turn…
Q. I’m a mess because my daughter started her period. Ironically, she seems just fine. I did get her ready. That’s more than my mom did for me at her age. I was shocked when my period started and I didn’t want that for her. I bought her a book and read it with her. When she started she was v…
Arielle Workman is a paramedic with AHN Canonsburg Hospital. She also is a volunteer firefighter and paramedic at North Strabane Township Volunteer Fire Department.
Q. I’m writing to share my reflections over the last months. I’ve been texting with you off and on since March. I’m sure I’m not the only teen to do so, although you always made me feel as if you had all the time in the world to listen. I’m grateful for that.
I received two questions from young people of color. Please know these questions are a small indication of how racism is affecting young people. I can only go so far to support these lived experiences. I consulted with two excellent professional therapists and dear friends, Dr. Rueben Brock …
Q. I am beyond stressed. My mom said, “You’re so miserable, you’re making the whole house miserable. Call Mary Jo. And make a list of good things in your life.”
Since we begin virtual parent/youth puberty classes this week, I thought it might brighten your day to read a few of the questions asked in the What’s Up as You Grow Up? Parent/Youth classes I began in 1984.
Q. I need help telling my parents I want to take a gap year. I graduate now – not that anyone is noticing. I’ve been accepted to my first-pick school and was excited, but now I hear rumors they will only open online in the fall. The problem is I don’t learn well online. It’s just not me.
Q. I thought my parents were OK before everything shut down. Now that we’re stuck together 24/7 I can see how stupid they are. Will I be like them when I’m a grown up? I hope not.
Q. I’m a grandma, a mewmaw. Will you still answer my question? I miss my granddaughter so much I can’t stand it anymore. She’s three. She’s delightful. She runs to me when I visit or when she comes to see me, yelling, “There’s my mewmaw!” My best moments in life are when she cuddles on my la…
Q. I’ve lost the love of my life. We met online right after school closed. No, this was not catfishing. We saw each other daily over FaceTime. We talked three or four times a day. He got me. He was my everything. And, now he’s gone forever. I’m sad. My dad says I need to get over it. How can…
Q. Here’s my question: What is wrong with people?
Q. I have a problem. I have a girlfriend at school. We live in different states and our college closed for the semester because of the pandemic. Yesterday, she called to tell me her period is 3 days late. She always starts on the Tuesday of the fourth week of her cycle. We were really, reall…
Q. I’m sick of hearing about this virus. I get sheltering in place. We live with my grandma and I want to protect her. But, can’t people talk about anything else? Can you please make your column be about ways to stay calm and make time pass. I’m trying not to be bored. I’m also trying hard n…
Q. Everyone is fussing about staying home. They should live in my house.
We closed the Common Ground Teen Center, but I’ve created a Virtual Teen Center. We are hosting zoom meetings twice a day. Social isolation can be challenging. Anyone ages 13 to 19 who is interested in joining the Virtual Teen Center should email me at podmj@healthyteens.com for links and pa…
Q. Yesterday we had to take our family dog to the vet. He was limping and he’d lost his sight. It seemed like he was in pain. I agree with the decision. He was a good pet and we all loved him, but it was time to let him go. My problem is the whole family decided to lie to my brother. He’s 10…
Note to parents and trusted adults: Children listen and hear. Adults guide young people to handle what frightens them. One of the reasons I write “The Nonnie Series” is to help adults talk about tough topics like death, birth, sex and consent. Be there for the children in your life. If you d…
I thought a small window into the minds of 10- to- 12-year-olds might make people smile. These questions are from my What’s Up as You Grow Up? Parent/Youth program.
Q. I hate Valentine’s Day. I once loved it. Before this year when I heard other people complain about it, I didn’t understand, but I always had a Valentine until now. At least I don’t go to a high school where they sell flowers and candy during lunch and everyone watches to see how many Vale…
Q. My heart is broken. I had a wonderful relationship that lasted over 2 years. We spoke daily. Sometimes two or three times a day. Every important thing in my life was shared. I don’t understand how it’s suddenly over.
Q. Will you explain something to me? My grandma says I’ll get a cold if I go outside in the cold. She says if I don’t have something on my head it would be easier to get one. My dad says you only get colds if you catch one from someone else. Who is right? I hope it’s my grandma because my da…
Q. What does it mean if a person needs an MRI after a mammogram? Can you explain both of those things? I think I spelled the last word wrong. Can you fix it? I can’t google it because I don’t have a phone. Can you believe I don’t have a phone? I can’t search on a computer because my mom chec…
Q. I know you are a very busy woman, but I have been thinking about some things. I’m currently not in a relationship, but I can’t talk to my mom about things like this. So here’s my questions: How will can I tell if a guy will treat me right, and not “use” me, before entering the relationshi…
Q. I stutter. My family hears it. My teachers would notice it more if I actually answered in class. I’m very, very quiet at school.
Q. I’m sick of people making New Year’s resolutions. Nobody keeps them. People go on diets that last a month at the most. They exercise for two weeks. They try to be kinder to others for a day or two. I’m sick of people saying, “This year I’m going to do better.” Do better right now. It’s re…
While searching for a question this week, I came upon this column from December 22, 2016. I seldom recycle columns; this one reminded me how challenging holidays can be for many. The list below – created in the 90s by a 15-year-old in placement – still echoes with courage and hope.
Q. I want to know why my mom doesn’t understand where I’m coming from sometimes. She thinks she knows what’s best for me but sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn’t. Sometimes I think she doesn’t want me to be happy. I wish she would see my point of view. – 16-year-old
Q. When will I get my daughter back? Since she turned 13 she’s all attitude and anger. Her teachers tell me she’s great at school. She is a good student. Why is she so nasty to live with here at home? – Frustrated parent
Today, I continue a tradition begun in 2006, when I started seeking Peer Educator wisdom for this column. Every year I ask young people their thoughts about gratitude. I’m pleased to offer these important young voices again. They give me strength, and their resilient spirits inspire me. I am…
Q. How do I explain to my baby sister that Santa doesn’t bring all the toys? Should I just say that? She’s 6. Last Christmas when she was 5 she didn’t seem to notice much of who got what, but this year she’s paying attention. She tells me when kids at school have things she’d like to have. S…
Q. I’m almost six months pregnant and nobody but the dad knows. I know it’s stupid but I guess I kept thinking if I didn’t tell anyone it would go away. I wear big hoodies and stretchy pants. I think people think I’m gaining weight. Most of my teachers don’t notice me anyway. The father left…
Today’s column is an atypical one.
Q. My dad has a girlfriend. I don’t like her. I know I’m not giving her a chance, but I don’t want her in our lives. My mom died three years ago of cancer. I don’t like to talk about it. It was horrible. Dad and I were just fine for a while. Then last year he started with this woman. I put u…
Q. Should I try to regain trust with my husband? I went for my annual gyne exam and was told I have an STD. I’ve been with him since college. He was my first partner. We’ve been married 12 years. We have kids. When I told him about the STD, he accused me of cheating. I’ve not been with any o…
Q. Will you talk about what not to say in a relationship? My significant other annoyed me the other day, so I told him, “You’re annoying me.” He said, “I’m not being annoying.” How ridiculous is that? I know if I’m being annoyed. How can he try to tell me he’s not annoying me? Does he think …
Q. Why do kids need to go to schools where they live? That seems unfair to me. I know kids my age who go to private schools. They get more attention from teachers and get to take classes my school doesn’t offer, like real art and drama. I know there are private schools for the arts, but I’m …
Q. Will you help settle a disagreement between my daughter and me? I say screen time on phones or tablets is detrimental. I believe such devices should only be used sparingly, to call home if band practice is canceled or when searching facts. She says she is an A student with good social ski…
Q. My friends call me weird for seeing a therapist. They make fun of me every day at school. I go to one because I’m depressed. Should I stop?
Note: I sought a suicide prevention related question to raise awareness during Suicide Prevention Week – Sept. 8-14. I’ve updated this column from 2006; the issue remains pertinent.
