I thought these questions from 11 and 12-year-olds in my growing up classes might bring joy. As always, they are 100% real and unedited for content. I answer all questions. Education matters.
Q. I saw you created a national day about being worthy. I liked that and it made me think.
Q. I’m in love. Notice I didn’t say I think I’m in love. I know I am. I just need help with my family.
Q. I’ve been a Type I juvenile diabetic since I was almost 3 years old. I don’t remember being at UPMC Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh then, unless you count some vague clouds of memory involving a pretty big fear of needles. Now, 15 years later, it’s all just normal to me. Why am I writin…
Q. I remember you fondly from high school. I hope it’s OK to reach out to you from grad school. You always said we could come to you for anything, and I don’t know anyone better to call.
COVID-19 continues to cause stress a year after the first lockdown. I often receive questions about the pandemic. Here are a few. Adults, please remember – young people listen and observe our behavior.
Q. I read your last column with great interest. I wish you could talk with our daughter. I’m a grandma to three wonderful grandkids. Our son and his wife have one child and they are great parents. Our daughter is the problem. She has two daughters, 7 and 9. She and her husband run their home…
Q. I want my baby back! Up until now, parenting our only child has been a dream. She was an easy baby who slept through the night at 3 months. Toddlerhood was a breeze. I kept waiting for tantrums that never came. As a preschooler, she was fun, bright, and obedient. She loved school from the start.
Q. Is it wrong to stay with someone just so I’m not alone on Valentine’s Day? I plan to break up right afterward. My friend says that makes me greedy. It’s not about presents. It’s because I’ve never had a “valentine” before and I really want one. Does that make me greedy?
Q. Can you fall in love with someone you only know online? My gram says yes and my dad says no.
Q. What if I can’t adjust to being in school face-to-face? I’ve never been that popular kid but now I don’t see my friends at all and I feel alone. It was easier when we learned online because it wasn’t so obvious that no one wants to be my friend.
Q. Our daughter is afraid to go back to school because of COVID-19.
I was honored to receive more than 40 texts or calls from young people from Jan. 6 through Jan. 8. I scheduled and held four emergency zoom calls in addition to the two we host daily for teens. These are two of those young people’s words, printed by request.
Q. I have a number of questions I’d like your perspective on. My mom and dad argue about politics and me.
Traditionally, the last Ask Mary Jo column of each year consists of young people’s New Year’s resolutions.
Children and young people are wise. They watch adults, they listen, they absorb adult emotions and become worried about adult concerns.
Q. I know everyone is different and all but I think I will never be like the other guys in my class. Everyone got taller over the summer. A couple of guys are growing beards. OK, not exactly beards, but facial hair. I got nothing. School was awkward because of how short I still am but I have…
Q. I’m not a teenager, not even close but, like you, I believe our youth are the future and must be nurtured. I wonder if you can address something that upsets me terribly. As we know Dr Rachel Levine is transgender. She’s also a brilliant infectious disease expert. When her recommendations …
Q. COVID-19 makes everything complicated. I have great parents. They divorced last February. They did it in the best way anyone could. They talked with me. They both told me they love me. They said it wasn’t my fault. They offered me counseling. They don’t even bash each other to me. I have …
Editor’s note: This column was scheduled to appear on Thanksgiving Day, but technical issues delayed publication.
Q. I’m not sure there’s an answer to this. I just want to vent.
Q. I broke up with my high school boyfriend the summer between graduation and college. It really was an amicable break up. We were both going to schools out of state. We were together 14 months and made some great memories senior year, but I really didn’t think I loved him. Then, after we br…
I’ve had an increase in questions during the pandemic. I attribute the jump to two possibilities – young people have more time on their hands and are lonelier, and, if attending online classes only, teens have lost their in-school safety net of guidance counselors and teachers.
Q. Is it wrong to not want to go back to school in person? I have social anxiety and online classes help. I don’t miss seeing people at school because I don’t like interaction with others. I’m not rude, or even shy, but I just prefer being by myself. The anxiety comes when I’m forced to be i…
I received so many reactions to last week’s column about families and fighting that I selected a few for comment.
Q. My math teacher likes me a lot. He always calls on me. I love math and I’m good at it.
Q. My teacher doesn’t like me. No matter what I do, she doesn’t call on me. I put my hand up and get ignored. She never says anything nice about my work, even when I get a good grade on a test. I told my dad and he said I need to suck it up. I told my gram and she said she would march down t…
I think I’m the only kid who feels like I do.
Education matters to me. I know education is more than academics. Socialization, peer competition, sports, theater, concerts, clubs, interactions with teachers and mentors, just hanging out in the cafeteria. So much is different this new school year.
Q. I need help with my anger. I’ve been asking you questions since seventh grade, texted you some flat out stupid stuff and some serious questions. I always stayed anonymous and told you to keep my questions private. You did as I asked.
Q. This is a serious question. Do I tell my boys, ages 6 and 9, that Chadwick Boseman, the wonderful actor who brought King T ‘Challa to life in “Black Panther,” has died? They both adore the movie, their rooms are full of “Black Panther” posters and toys, and we had a “Black Panther” themed…
Q. You taught me in high school and I still remember how much I loved your classes. I’m a teacher now, and virtual teaching is new to me, so I really enjoyed your column last week. Can you please offer some hints for student participation online?
Q. Hey Mary Jo, I had my first virtual class day for the new year and it was … pretty much a mess. Our school is all online now. I felt bad for my teachers. They really tried, but between student zooms that glitched and people who cannot seem to figure out how to mute or sit up straight, I w…
During this challenging summer, our peer educator facilitators and I were thrilled to interact with 192 12- to- 14-year-olds in our virtual summer camps. I thought some of the unsolicited questions sent to me during the camps via private Zoom chat might bring smiles!
Q. I’m so scared of going back to school. I mean, I want to see my friends. I want to go back to class. I even miss my teachers. I’m not scared for me. I’m scared for my gram and pap.
As promised, more good news from our Virtual Summer Camps.
Time for some good news from the pandemic. This column and next week’s will showcase the wonderful young people facilitating our free virtual summer camps and offer gratitude for all who support this effort.
Q. I don’t have any friends. I’m an only child. I’m used to being by myself or with mostly adults. I read a lot. I draw. I don’t even mind solitude, but since we left school in March I don’t even have other kids to talk with casually at lunch or in classes. I don’t know how to connect with o…
Q. I go back for my second year of college in August. My school is offering an online option as well as in-person instruction. I don’t typically learn well online. I prefer face-to-face interaction with my professors. But, I’m worried about my dad. He has several health conditions, including…
I was asked to offer my opinion about mask wearing. I decided it would be more fun and educational if I asked young people their thoughts. I typically ask our peer educators to respond in my column, but I posted this topic on social media, so I haven’t interacted with all of the writers. I h…
Q. I’m still not doing well emotionally with this virus. I’ve seen a counselor and she keeps suggesting mindfulness or meditation. She tried to show me, but I just got more tense. I’m sure you don’t remember me, but I took childbirth classes in your basement for our first child. He just turn…
Q. I’m a mess because my daughter started her period. Ironically, she seems just fine. I did get her ready. That’s more than my mom did for me at her age. I was shocked when my period started and I didn’t want that for her. I bought her a book and read it with her. When she started she was v…
Arielle Workman is a paramedic with AHN Canonsburg Hospital. She also is a volunteer firefighter and paramedic at North Strabane Township Volunteer Fire Department.
Q. I’m writing to share my reflections over the last months. I’ve been texting with you off and on since March. I’m sure I’m not the only teen to do so, although you always made me feel as if you had all the time in the world to listen. I’m grateful for that.
I received two questions from young people of color. Please know these questions are a small indication of how racism is affecting young people. I can only go so far to support these lived experiences. I consulted with two excellent professional therapists and dear friends, Dr. Rueben Brock …
Q. I am beyond stressed. My mom said, “You’re so miserable, you’re making the whole house miserable. Call Mary Jo. And make a list of good things in your life.”
Since we begin virtual parent/youth puberty classes this week, I thought it might brighten your day to read a few of the questions asked in the What’s Up as You Grow Up? Parent/Youth classes I began in 1984.
Q. I need help telling my parents I want to take a gap year. I graduate now – not that anyone is noticing. I’ve been accepted to my first-pick school and was excited, but now I hear rumors they will only open online in the fall. The problem is I don’t learn well online. It’s just not me.
Q. I thought my parents were OK before everything shut down. Now that we’re stuck together 24/7 I can see how stupid they are. Will I be like them when I’m a grown up? I hope not.
Q. I’m a grandma, a mewmaw. Will you still answer my question? I miss my granddaughter so much I can’t stand it anymore. She’s three. She’s delightful. She runs to me when I visit or when she comes to see me, yelling, “There’s my mewmaw!” My best moments in life are when she cuddles on my la…
Q. I’ve lost the love of my life. We met online right after school closed. No, this was not catfishing. We saw each other daily over FaceTime. We talked three or four times a day. He got me. He was my everything. And, now he’s gone forever. I’m sad. My dad says I need to get over it. How can…
Q. Here’s my question: What is wrong with people?
Q. I have a problem. I have a girlfriend at school. We live in different states and our college closed for the semester because of the pandemic. Yesterday, she called to tell me her period is 3 days late. She always starts on the Tuesday of the fourth week of her cycle. We were really, reall…
Q. I’m sick of hearing about this virus. I get sheltering in place. We live with my grandma and I want to protect her. But, can’t people talk about anything else? Can you please make your column be about ways to stay calm and make time pass. I’m trying not to be bored. I’m also trying hard n…
Q. Everyone is fussing about staying home. They should live in my house.
We closed the Common Ground Teen Center, but I’ve created a Virtual Teen Center. We are hosting zoom meetings twice a day. Social isolation can be challenging. Anyone ages 13 to 19 who is interested in joining the Virtual Teen Center should email me at podmj@healthyteens.com for links and pa…
Q. Yesterday we had to take our family dog to the vet. He was limping and he’d lost his sight. It seemed like he was in pain. I agree with the decision. He was a good pet and we all loved him, but it was time to let him go. My problem is the whole family decided to lie to my brother. He’s 10…
Note to parents and trusted adults: Children listen and hear. Adults guide young people to handle what frightens them. One of the reasons I write “The Nonnie Series” is to help adults talk about tough topics like death, birth, sex and consent. Be there for the children in your life. If you d…
I thought a small window into the minds of 10- to- 12-year-olds might make people smile. These questions are from my What’s Up as You Grow Up? Parent/Youth program.
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