Mary Jo Podgurski

Note: I sought a suicide prevention related question to raise awareness during Suicide Prevention Week – Sept. 8-14. I’ve updated this column from 2006; the issue remains pertinent.

Q. It’s only been a week and I’m already sick of school.

Q:I’m worried about my friend. I’m worried because I think my friend is depressed. I fear he uses alcohol to mask his sadness. We went to different colleges and he was heavy into the frat scene. I see him every couple months now that we’ve graduated. He can’t find a job in his field and he d…

Q: My daughter leaves for college soon and I’m a nervous wreck. I know protecting her is an illusion even when she’s at home. It just feels safer when she’s sleeping under my roof. She’s my only and it’s been just the two of us for the last 10 years. Any advice for how to prepare her to avoi…

Q:Can you write something in your column to make my parents calm down about the apps on my phone? They saw something on TV about how kids are in danger and all they do now is check my texts and my phone app use. They’re so afraid, it’s making me nervous. I’m fine. Most kids are just fine. Ca…

Q. I pretty much grew up with school shootings and lockdown drills. This one in Dayton brought it close to home because one of our own was senselessly murdered.

Q:I’m a new teacher and I learn a great deal from you columns. I’m curious. Will you answer two questions of mine. The first question is, where do you get your questions? They’re so varied and interesting. And, two, how do you answer them? Do you have a routine? I want to answer my students’…

Q.I’m going to just be blunt. My kid smells! He’s 10 and I cannot interest him in hygiene. Getting him to brush his teeth is a battle. I tell him to take a shower and he acts like I cut off his arm. I know it’s not just him because when his buddies are over it smells like a locker room. Any …

Q.My teen won’t sleep, which is ironic because as a baby and toddler he was such a good sleeper my friends were jealous! I’d put him down in the crib, say goodnight, and he’d sleep. Easy-peasy. Now he’s 14 and he’s up all night. I’ve taken his phone, his tablet and his computer each night at…

Q.This summer is going to be so hard. My parents separated three years ago and I kinda got used to it. My dad also disappeared from my life. I saw him two Christmases but that’s it. Now, here they go and get divorced, and my dad is back, and he got shared custody of me and my little brother.…

Q.I know a kid my age who has cancer. We don’t see him at school much anymore. I know he’s pretty sick. I’m scared to get it too. My mom said you taught her in high school, and I should talk with you because she doesn’t know what else to tell me. My grandpa died last year. He had cancer. I’m…

I love teaching sixth graders! They’re smart and fresh and eager to learn. Some are able to speak about sexual health at home; I am grateful for their families. Most have no trusted adult with whom to seek answers to their questions. Many have online access, which often means they need someo…

Aaron Miller received our 2019 Youth Advocate Ward and The Dreamers Co. received our 2019 Community Award for their outstanding work supporting young people. I was honored to speak at the Dreamers Youth Conference this year and was asked to respond to these questions from the conference.

Today’s column contains my final responses to the May 16 column’s question about reproductive misinformation.

As promised, today’s column will continue my response to last week’s question: I’m a former student who is now the parent of a 12-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy. I really wish you could teach them but we live out of state. I’m your FB friend and I learn a lot from your posts. You recent…

Q.I’m a former student who is now the parent of a 12-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy. I really wish you could teach them but we live out of state. I’m your FB friend and I learn a lot from your posts. You recently posted an article about reproductive misinformation. Can you address the a…

Q.What if I have sex and then the person gets mad at me later and says I forced her? I haven’t had sex yet, but this worries me. I heard my dad say you can’t trust girls.

Q:How can you tell if a relationship is abusive or not?

Q.I read your column about making an ethical decision and it made me think about something that happened in my family.

Q.Can you give me some examples of microaggressions? I asked my dad at dinner and he started to respond, but my stepmom stopped him by saying, “Nothing good comes of talking about that.” The tension got so high that I excused myself from the table. I don’t understand. I’m curious about life …

Q.I’m a college senior. I know my roommate plagiarized on a paper that’s 40 percent of our grade. She submitted her older brother’s paper in its entirety. He aced this class five years ago. I was certain the professor would notice but he’s in and out of class due to health issues and the TA …

Q.Dear Mary Jo, it’s been 20 years since you were our “sex lady” and I still feel that you are the only one I can ask certain questions and get an honest answer. I know you get lots of questions every day and understand if you don’t have time to answer, but if you do ...

Q.I have a question. Why does the amount of melanin a person has define him or her more than their personality? Why are African-American teenage males so often at the receiving end of a trigger? Why is it that people of color have to be scared to go to school, to drive or to hang out with fr…

I received a question yesterday from a young adult who mentioned writing to me in 2009. I checked my database and found his old question. I’ve included his original question with his recent comment. I hope children today will experience less torment than he did; we adults must make it so.

Q.This is gonna sound weird. Is there such a thing as stress when things are going well? Like, my life is good. School’s good, grades are good, I’m playing sports I love, I have good friends, I’m getting ready to take the SATs and look at colleges. My family’s a little strange but pretty fun…

Q.I feel invisible. Sometimes I’m OK with it because being ignored means nobody makes fun of me. Other times I wonder what’s so awful about me that no one knows I’m alive. Can I change this? Should I?

Q:Somehow I caught something called ADHD. I always thought I was just stupid. My mom said I have this attention thing and I need to take a pill or something. Am I OK? Can you help me figure this out? Thanks.

Q.Other teens assume my economic status based on where I live. How should I respond?

Q:How do you respond to a friend who keeps interacting romantically with and dating adults?

Q. I found out my mom’s ex cheated on her while they were still together. My little sibling was even around them when he did it. He has put my mom though enough pain and I don’t think telling her would benefit her in any way. It would just send her into another depression spiral. Am I making…

Jan. 27 is our Teen Outreach’s 10th annual Washington’s Got Talent finale at Canon-McMillan High School, from 1:30 to 4 p.m.

Our Teen Outreach’s 10th annual Washington’s Got Talent finale will be held from 1:30 to 4 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 27, at Canon-McMillan High School. The show is our only fundraiser and is perfect for our mission. More than 200 young people are involved in planning and producing the event, led by …

Q.I have a dilemma. One of my friends lost a parent, which was very sad. The death was unexpected. The family didn’t have life insurance. My friend went to a crowdfunding site and created an appeal, asking for money for funeral expenses. Many thousands were raised. I visited when home from s…

Q: What do you do if you’re disappointing your whole family and they don’t even know it? I’m the first person in my family to go to college. I got into my first-choice school and my first-semester grades were great – a 3.6. I came home to such pride and happiness from my family. My mom keeps…

Traditionally, my last column of the year is a chance for our teens to offer their New Year’s resolutions. This year my focus is our Adolescent Advisory Board. The board represents students from 10 different high schools and meets regularly at Washington Hospital. The board’s theme this year…

Often the questions I receive are dark, written by troubled young people. I thought about the impression those questions may make on adults. Do people think all teens are confused? I know they are not. Some teens are more mature than many adults. I am blessed to spend time every day with you…

Q:Is it wrong to break up right before Christmas. I asked my mom, and she said it was a mean thing to do, but I think it’s only prolonging the inevitable. What do you think?

Q: You taught me sex ed in high school, but I doubt you’ll remember me. My mother died when I was young and you reached out to me, even though I acted tough and said I didn’t need anyone. When I graduated you told me I could keep in touch. Here I am, 15 years later, seeking help. My mom died…

Q.I ate my way through Thanksgiving. My house is packed with treats. How do I get my eating back on track!

My Thanksgiving column traditionally is dedicated to our young people in peer education and on our Adolescent Advisory Board. I am grateful for their words.

I’m grateful for the enthusiastic response to last week’s column. Several people asked if I respond to questions from older adults. I do, and I typically receive one or two weekly queries from people over 65. The term “older adults” makes me smile. When our peer educators focused on Respect …

My days are full of connection. Young people are inspiring and fun; they give me hope. My last columns dealt with serious matters. It’s time for a little levity. Here are some of the thousands of questions I’ve received from little ones over the last 40 years. I never “create” a question, an…

Q. I’m just a teen and I’m troubled. It feels like a lot of people are just starting to accept the world as one full of hate. What can people like me do?

Q.Please help me define transgender. I’m 17 years old and I can’t ever remember feeling like the sex I was assigned at birth. I’m only out to a few friends. I do have support, though. Can you write something that maybe I could show my parents to teach them? I know they love me. I’m just not …

Q.I had a huge argument with my dad. He said it doesn’t matter if you vote or not. He doesn’t vote. I’m not old enough to vote in the November elections, but I will be 18 in the spring. I intend to register right away. Why do people stop voting? My dad is a good guy. He works, he provides fo…

Q.I read your column about sexual assault. It touched me deeply. You answered that 10-year-old so well. I wish I’d known you when I was 10. I’m a male survivor of sexual assault. Sex was never discussed in my home, except crude jokes between my father and his friends. I had no words for what…

Q.I’m stressed, but I pretend I’m not. I want my parents and teachers to think I’ve got everything under control, but I lie awake at night, and my mind is a mess. I stare at the ceiling. I think about what I need to do over and over. I become obsessed with my school assignments. That doesn’t…

Q.What is sexual assault? I know about sex, but I don’t understand what this means. I watch the news on my tablet. I read about it there.

Q.Why won’t my parents let me use my phone? I swear I’ve never done anything wrong on it. I’ve never sent a nude or cyberbullied anyone. I seriously stay away from weird sites and I’m smart enough not to go into a chat with strangers. It’s as if my parents read about all the trouble teens ca…

Q.I had you for sex ed in the early ’90s. When we were seniors, you taught a class on sexuality and ethics. I still remember it. I have an ethical question now. I hope you can help me sort out what to do. I’m the youngest of three. My next oldest sibling is into family history and bought me …

Q.Why do people use social media to hurt you after a breakup? I know it’s tempting to post bad things about an ex, but I also know that’s wrong. Are there any guides for how to handle social media when a relationship ends?

Q.I recently broke up with my boyfriend. I wasn’t happy with him. Our relationship was all about him. I thought I was in love, but now I know I wasn’t. I was just attracted to him. He didn’t listen to me, or think of my needs. He’s not taking it well at all. At first he was all about begging…

Q.I’m an adult, not a teen, but I notice you answer adult questions too. I’m writing to you for two reasons. My wife had you for sex ed and said you would be able to help, and I’d like you to talk about my concerns in your column. I’m an adult male survivor of child sexual abuse. It happened…

Q: I leave for college in a few weeks. I’m a stew of excitement, fear, happiness and confusion. I worked very hard for acceptance at the college I wanted and I worked even harder for scholarships. I’m ready. My mom is a mess. I’m her only. She’s very proud of me. She tells me all the time. B…

Q.I’m going for my first gyne exam next week. I’m nervous. It took me a solid year to talk my mom into taking me. What’s wrong with grownups? They always think the worst. I have horrible pain every month with my period, and my mom still didn’t want me to go see a doctor because she said I’d …

Q.I’m lost. I’ve been with the same person for over three years. We said “I love you” more times than I can count. I believe he loved me – I believe he still loves me. We seemed very happy together. I thought he was “the one.” He was my first boyfriend. This summer, I was away for a vacation…

Q.My mom told me to write to you. She said you taught her when she was my age and you helped her. She also said I’m stubborn and maybe I’ll listen to you. Here goes. I got my period a year ago. It’s always messed up. Sometimes it’s regular and other times I’m two or three weeks late. I’m not…

Q.My boyfriend leaves for college out of state in a month. I’m a senior in high school. My mom says we should break up now because we’ll never make it. My boyfriend says he’s not interested in anyone else. Neither am I. What do you think?