Q. When should I talk with my daughter about puberty? She’s 9 and very curious. I fondly remember attending a class with you about growing up when I was a girl. I remember it was at the hospital. My grandma took me because my mom was sick. She died when I was 11, so I’m guessing the class wa…
Q. Is it possible to have a healthy relationship after getting out of a toxic one? How can I tell if this new one is better? I’m scared to try again. Thank you. I don’t know who else to ask.
Q. Why do people feel uncomfortable talking about sex and bodies? – 15-year-old
Q. If two people are older – like over 18 – and they have an intimate relationship, does that assume they get consent? Like, is consent understood? Or do they have to keep asking if things are OK over and over?
Today, I will focus on questions about TikTok, a video social media app popular with teens and young adults.
Traditions matter to me. Young people’s voices are important. Every year since 2005, I ask teens to share their New Year’s resolutions for this column. Most years there are similar themes – self-improvement, school success, and improved relationships are the most common concerns.
Q. Settle an argument for me. My mom says I need to go to my grandparents on Christmas even though my grandfather is disrespectful to me. I’d best describe him as a dirty old man. Ever since puberty, he makes sexual jokes about my body.
Q. Is it wrong for me to want to spend Christmas away from my parents? They divorced when I was 10 and the last five years’ holidays have been horrible. They fight over me. I feel like a pawn in a chess game. They can’t seem to stop hating each other long enough to ask me how I am. I hear ho…
Q. When is the right age to have sex? I honestly want to know. I don’t have a person who wants to have sex with me yet, but I’d kind of like to be ready. – 17-year-old
Thursday, Dec. 1, is World AIDS Awareness Day. The 2022 theme is “Putting Ourselves to the Test: Achieving Equity to End HIV.”
I’ve dedicated my Thanksgiving column to teens’ gratitude for over a decade.
Q. I’ve read your column ever since you taught my sex ed class in high school. Last week’s column resonated. I wanted to share two things: First, I remember you teaching about healthy relationships in school. I thought I knew everything there was to know about sex when I first had your class…
Q. My friends tell me my new boyfriend isn’t good for me. What if they’re just jealous? They say he talks about me behind my back, acts like a jerk when I’m not around, and flirts with his old girlfriend. I’m not sure about him. He’s nice when we’re alone. Who do I believe?
Q. I’m a new mom. Why wasn’t I more prepared for postpartum? I’m no longer your student but I remember how safe you made me feel as a teen. You always said we could reach out to you anytime. Anytime is here. We planned this pregnancy. I was so happy pregnant, even at the end. My birth was pr…
Q. I hope you can help me. My 13-year-old daughter has a number of mental health issues. She’s seeing a therapist and is now on medication. My problem is she has no friends. She just doesn’t fit into her old friends’ group. It’s as if they’ve abandoned her. This happened in sixth grade, and …
Since our Common Ground Teen Center’s annual Seesaw Marathon Fundraiser is this weekend (4 p.m. Friday to 4 p.m. Saturday), some of the over 100 teens who will seesaw and volunteer wanted to share what the center means to them. In ABC order:
Q. I wish my parents would split up like the 17-year-old’s parents in your column last week. My mom and dad hate each other. They stay together for us kids. I know divorce could be hard, but I think it would be better than living with yelling. Maybe there’s a time to admit a marriage is over…
Q. I think my parents are divorcing, even though they deny it. I blame COVID.
Reactions to last week’s column showed how important pets are to happiness.
Q. So my boyfriend got a puppy and I swear all he does is play with it, brush it, take it on walks, and take care of it. He talks to that dog more than he talks to me. – 17-year-old
Last week’s column on neurodivergent teens received many responses. Here are three.
Followup from last week’s column on dementia: A reader wrote to share how smell connected him to his grandmother who was living with dementia. He said bringing lavender to his visits with her mellowed her and seemed to help with restlessness. Lavender is one of the scents recommended for dem…
Q. My gram is changing. I think she has dementia. I talked with my dad, and he says I’m right. They’ve moved her to a nursing home, and I can only see her when someone takes me over to visit because it’s not close enough to walk. I hate this. My parents split when I was little, and my gram w…
Note: I receive so many current questions about friendship, I was curious. I went back into my archives and found this column from 2007. It seems the stress of finding friends is unchanged. I added information about our Teen Center, which opened in 2008.
Q. School is starting. Most years I’m excited. Not this year. All summer I have been best friends with a wonderful person. We met at camp. We go to the same school but hardly ever talked before camp. We’re starting sixth grade. The problem is we are in very different friend groups at school.…
Q. I read your column about the college student who decided to leave her mom and my heart hurt for her. I remember. My mother was a toxic person in my life. She told me I was fat in high school when I weighed 90 pounds. She told me I was too stupid to go to college (I went anyway). She const…
Q. This is my final year of college. COVID made some of my experience less than perfect, but I adjusted. I’m not writing about school. I love my campus, I love my professors, I love my major. In a year, I will be qualified to sit for my nursing boards. I will be the nurse I’ve dreamed of bec…
Q. I’m going back to in-person school in the fall instead of cyber. I’m excited, except for one thing. I’m afraid of speaking in public. I was a little nervous about it when I started high school, and then COVID made us all go virtual for a time. I could dodge my fear. I feel like I denied h…
Q. How can I help my parents to say no? They get involved in so much and then they’re exhausted. I get that it’s important to help our community, but it feels like they get taken advantage of too much.
Q.Why is my body changing already? I know about puberty from reading stuff online. I’m only 11 and I started my period last week. Am I OK? – 11-year-old
Q. First of all, I know I’m lucky to go on vacation. Not everyone gets to get away. I also love my family. It’s just that I really need a vacation to get over our vacation!
Q. I am so frustrated! My family refuses to see things from my perspective. I know it’s important to have respect for my parents and I know sometimes people need to agree to disagree, but this is so difficult. I finished a degree in nursing. My parents ignore everything I say in favor of thi…
Q.I had you for class in the 1990s and I am still asking you questions! I’m not married and have no children. My brother has one son who matters a great deal to me. He’s a great kid. Bright, takes all the AP classes, wonderful athlete, just 16. I know I’m a little biased in his behalf, but h…
Q. My mom says I have low self-esteem. I say it’s hard to feel good about myself when she’s always putting me down. Actually, I don’t tell her that, but I want to. My older sister is always better than me. I hear it all the time. Why can’t you be like your sister? My mom says this nearly eve…
Q. My first year of college went fast and well. I have a great GPA, made a lot of friends, and surprised myself by adjusting beautifully. In short, I loved college. I’m home for the summer. I love my family, but they are so overprotective. I was only home for holidays since last August, whic…
Q. Nothing ever changes (in response to Tuesday’s shooting in Texas)
Q. When your boyfriend wants to do sexual things and you say no, then they get mad and guilt you into it, is it bad to not want to talk about it with anyone? I think about it a lot and I just want it to go away. I feel sad all the time. – 13-year-old
Q. I feel for my mom. My parents split when I was a little kid and I spend half the time with my mom and half with my dad. Dad has had a lot of girlfriends over the years. When I was little, I sometimes called these women “mommy,” which hurt my mom. I get that now. She’s never put my dad dow…
Q. What if I never find someone? Or no one ever finds me? Everyone I know has someone. Everyone I know is in a perfect relationship. I feel so alone. I can’t believe I’m actually telling you this, but I worry a lot. I don’t know a single successful relationship. My parents are divorced, my g…
Q. Is it possible to experience grief years after a loss, even if you didn’t seem to grieve at the time? Let me explain. My little brother had leukemia and died when I was 8 and he was 4. I have vague memories of my parents being with him at the hospital a lot and feeling lost because our fa…
Q. I read your column about the teen who was afraid to drive. I have the opposite problem. I’m a parent afraid to let my teen drive! She’s 17 and I have put off her getting her permit because the thought of her behind the wheel of a car terrifies me. I know this isn’t healthy. She’s a respon…
Q. I’m afraid to drive after I begged and begged to get my license. I’m a new driver. I know someone who was in a horrible car accident and is in the hospital. Now when I drive, I keep thinking the other cars are going to hit me. It freaks me out. I don’t dare tell my parents because I fusse…
Q. Everyone thinks I’m happy, but I’m not. I look happy. My teachers think I’m happy. My parents think I’m happy. My grandparents, too.
Q. I read your column because my mom makes me. Sometimes I kinda like it. I liked the ones about bullying.
Q. I don’t have a question. I would appreciate it if you would share this in your column, though. I encountered bullying when I was a teen, many years ago. When I read your last two columns about bullying, I knew I needed to tell someone my story.
Q. I appreciated your column on bullying last week. I especially enjoyed the way you asked teens their opinions. I was bullied as a boy and now my son is being bullied. I was a chubby kid who didn’t play sports and was made fun of for my size. My son is small and thin, but the other boys in …
One of my goals is empowering young people to realize their self-worth. I listen to teens and honor their words. I held focus groups when I wrote each book in my Nonnie Series. The focus groups are divided as third- and fourth- graders, fifth- and sixth-graders, and seventh- and eighth-grade…
Q. I made a huge mistake. I broke up with my girlfriend and now I want her back. We were together over a year. What was wrong with me? She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, what do I do? – 17-year-old
Q. I’m so lonely but you’d never know it to see me. I’m always making other people laugh. It’s like I’m the life of the party. At school, I hang out with lots of groups and get along with all of them. If someone was asked about me, I’m pretty sure I’d be described as happy.
Q. I wish my parents would get a divorce. I know that sounds strange but I’m sick of them fighting. They yell at each other all the time. When they’re not yelling, they’re mad.
I’ve responded to Valentine’s Day questions many times since I started writing this column in 2005. This edition of the column resonates with the young people I serve. At their request, I’m running it again.
Q. I lost my best friend. We’ve been friends since third grade. All of a sudden, she’s so mean and ignores me. I tried asking her what was wrong. She just laughed at me and went off with her new friends. I could hear them talking about me. I don’t know what I did. My mom says I’ll make new f…
Q. My mom was just diagnosed with lupus. It’s just us. My dad left when I was a baby and I don’t know him. My grandparents live across the country. Mom isn’t exactly hiding things from me. She did tell me. But, she’s acting like it’s no big deal. So I looked online and it seems like it is a …
Q. Can you help me understand something? I’m a twin. My brother, I’m a girl, and I are 14. I know we’re both in puberty, because I read a lot and because my mom teaches us stuff, which I act like I hate, but secretly I’m glad.
Confusion over the pandemic isn’t new, but lately I’ve received a number of questions asking specifically about when to go to the emergency room.
Q. How could I tell my parents I no longer believe in their faith? I had doubts in high school, but I’m not much of a rebel, so I just went along with what I was expected to do.
Mental health is crucial for people of all ages, but young people are more vulnerable than most. They are also more resilient. Our Teen Outreach theme this year is “A Road to Better Mental Health.” We asked teens to share their biggest challenges and how they cope. Here are a few of their th…
Q. I’ve been divorced for more than a year and recently met someone I feel comfortable dating. I haven’t brought him home yet. I have two sons – one 12 and one 10.
